It's another year, another month, another part of my life. And yet I feel so trapped and drowned out by the past. Reflective things. Does everybody feel this way?

Does everybody feel they can't change, no matter how much they'd like? Do they feel confused about this desire? "Should I change, do I really want this? Is it too late?"

I'm approached by people from my past who remember me from that time in my life and they seem almost upset that I'm so different. "...So different." I wouldn't even say that. Maybe just the fact that I've mellowed out? I'm not sure the reason why they are so offended. I've obviously changed. Or have I just grown up?

I feel worn. Maybe jaded. Fucked to say at this time in my life. I guess it's just the responsibilities I've had to endure at such a young age. But hell, I don't want to throw the blame. I didn't have to become this 'mature' young lady. If that's even what this stage of my life is.

My life works easier now that I've mellowed. I think it has, anyways. Less drama at least. And it's quieter. I think that makes me happy, I don't know. I feel alone a lot, and I can't say I really like that...

Is it that I've just burned out? I have enough "War Stories" to make a book. A boring book if not told by a right story-teller. To many who-what's and inside joke tales. But a large book. And I've had many experiences that most people couldn't even fathom. It could be these things people have missed and don't understand my changed desires.

Maybe I should be offended that they are upset? But it seems hard to care about anything. Until I'm angry it feels like I'm suffocated by a lax "laid back" procrastinative cloud. "I can do it later...it wont matter later...if I don't do it now it will disappear." and yet, it's not scary when it's important. I'm fucking things up that I shouldn't.

Ugh. Too much to get off of my chest. Too many trains of thought nobody here will recognize.

I'm lonely. I'm lonely for who I used to be. That pissed off bitch who rebelled the system each and every time, no matter how small the cause. Never wanting to be tied down, never wanting to settle for less. Always looking for adventure and always desperately needing the spotlight.

Where did she go? Sometimes it feels like I'm talking about an entirely different person. A person my total opposite, who hated all things girly and all things popular. Why do I strive for pretty and expensive things now? Have I strayed? Have I become confused? Were those ever really my true feelings?

Who knows now... who knows. All I can do now is try and keep as happiest as I can. No matter what that entails for the future. Lets live the here and now, and fuck the past and ignore the future. If we're going to burn out, lets do it right, and make sure we're remembered.

----------------
Listening To: Brand New
Current Mood: Contemplative && Distraught

Labels: future, past, present

{7:27 PM}
†らびつ ぷりんせす†

Omg. Omg. ...Omg.

I just got my grades back from my Week Six in Computer Animation for Multimedia & Web IMD222 UB and I'm absolutely ecstatic to report that I managed 179.50/200 (89.75%)...which means I got an A-! XDDDDD; Ughhh I'm so happy that I busted by ass this time. That class was so hard the first time I had to take it. Thank god for good and understanding teachers like Tom who actually TRIED TO HELP THE STUDENTS! Even when he was ill! We need more people like that in our education system.

Since the ninth I've been in this new class, Introduction to Programming IMD312 XA which is pretty much about PHP and all this sorts of programming that comes with learning that. My book hasn't arrived yet (which it was supposed to be here today! X_X) so I'm kind of stressing out about that, but... I guess I can do without that on the first week. It's mostly slow stuff 'til week two.

Anyways... today has been boring and annoying. We have nothing to snack on in the house, or drink for that matter (I'm drinking tap, ew). I think it's time I nag the 'rentals to go out food shopping. Maybe in the meantime Dad will let me exchange some money with him to use his card so that I can buy more Polaroid 600 film online. (It's cheaper on Amazon than Walmart, even with shipping!)

----------------
Listening To: She Wants Revenge
Current Mood: Happy && Bored

Labels: camera, classes, film, food, polaroid film, projects, school

{2:05 PM}
†らびつ ぷりんせす†

1. Where were you THREE hours ago?
Watching Blood+ and eating an "breakfast" sammich. (Egg, ham, cheese&bacon on a squagle! XD)

2. What do you think of your last kiss?
It was a simple goodnight kiss.

3. Are you wearing SOCKS right now?
Psh hellz no, biotch. That ain't how I roll~ lmao

4. When was the last time you went out of STATE?
Last month when I went to NJ with John to see his family.

5. Have you been to the M0VIES in the last 5 days?
Nopes.


6. Favorite piece of jewelry?
My gold necklace with the diamond on it which is currently MIA... :(:(

7. What was the last thing you had to drink?
Vitamin Water~~"focus" flavor.

8. What are you wearing right now?
Pajama/lounge pants, long-sleeved loose shirt. Undies, too. XD lolz

9. What was your last purchase?
Manaphy keychain from FYE. :D

10. Last food you ate?
Breakfast sammich.

11. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Allie.

12. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
Nah.

13. Do you have any pets?
Noz.

14. What did you do last night?
Worked on homework, then crashed.

15. Last time you had sex?
Bah-hah. Wouldn't you like to know?

16. If you could be anywhere you want where would it be?
Florida. :)

17. What is the last thing you purchased online?
A devART paid account, and then my new book for class.

18. One thing you hate about yourself?
I've lost almost all of my originality and imagination. I want it back! Also, I get sick very easily. :( I want to strengthen my immunesystem!

19. What's your favorite soup?
Lipton's Noodle soup, or Tomato Cup-a-soup.

20. Do you miss anyone?
Yeah, I miss a lot of people. Nearly my entire social life died once high school let out.

21. Last movie you saw?
In the movies: Harry Potter 5. On tv: Snatch. On dvd: Ginger Snaps. On pc: Pokemon movie#9.

22. What are your plans for the day?
Finish up some homework, then talk to John before he has to go to work. Maybe go rest for a while, and then back at the books. :3 Following should be some epic D/P!adventure. :D

23. Did you have fun today?
Meh. It was kinda boring.

24. Who is your last text message from? and what did it say?
Oh lord knows. I haven't had a cell in months!

25. Were you an honor roll student in school?
Nah. Too lazy for that lol.

26. What do you want to do in the future?
Move out, get a job teaching what I love, maybe pick up my drawing skills a bit, and finish all the books in my home-library. :) I'd also like to get better at skateboarding, so I can skate with John! :D

27. Who was the last person you rode in a car with?
John, when he took me home.

28. Do you hate anyone?
Meh, not really.

29. Do you have a tan?
I sorta did in the summer. XD Now that it's cold, it's going away lol.

30. How old do you want to be when you have kids?
When I'm ready, and who knows when that'll be.

31. Did you meet anyone new today?
Nope.

32. Do you have any tattoos or piercings?
Three piercings. No tats yet, but I'd like one some day.

33. How do you like your soda?
I'll have a sprite or a baha-blast every once in a while (like month spans without though haha). I'm not a big soda drinker. The caffeine, cream and carbonation kills me.

34. Do you like hot sauces?
I like mild sauce? XD

35. What are you doing tomorrow?
Staying home and doing school work so I can have the 11th free to myself. xD; John needs help bringing his mom's dog to the vet~.

36. What day is tomorrow?
Saturday~!

37. What is your current mood?
Bored, but not bad.

38. Why?
It's late and I'm tired, yet awake, and I have stuff I have to do that I don't want to lol.

39. Do you remember the first person you ever kissed?
I don't keep up with that crap. >____>;

40. Do you have a crush on anyone right now?
Sure do.

41. If you could be on a TV show, which one would it be?
Veronica Mars

42. Why?
Because something exciting is always happening with those characters. XD

43. Have you ever watched a movie and just "had" to do what they did?
lol Probably.

44. Do you have a "face" you make in the mirror?
Nope.

45. Ever use someone else's toothbrush?
No thanks... lol

46. Do you like/love the person you got this survey from?
Don't know 'em. xD;

47. Can you whistle?
Yes'm.

48. Can you wiggle your ears?
Yes'm.

49. You have a song that comes on that you just "have" to turn up and sing to?
MSI - Faggot, or Rise Against - Prayer Of The Refugee.

50. Who are you thinking about right now?
The love of my life, duh. :3

----------------
Listening To: MSI - Keepin Up With The Kids
Current Mood: Lazy && Tired

Labels: survey

{3:10 AM}
†らびつ ぷりんせす†

So, I'm trying to redesign this whole blog and all that. It's not really working the way I thought it would, but I'm trying my hardest. XDDDD; I'm trying to make it so it fits into my design on ZEROfacade.com--so you click the link and poof here's my blog lolz. It would be nice if I had better design skills. v~v;;

Since I'm submitting this for school I need to do some of the following:

× Filter passed entries, remove words (or entire entries) that contain ranting with vulgar language and etcetera.
× Start posting less fandom-related entries (even though...that was the original point of this blog when I first made it) and add some more actual content.
× Use more of the emoticons~~that was why they were made in the first place!
× Start posting more photographs~~maybe through VOX or Photobucket Flickr.

----------------
Listening To: MGS2 - Electric Gear Solid OC Remix
Current Mood: Lazy && Tired

Labels: blog, note to self

{8:42 AM}
†らびつ ぷりんせす†

It doesn't mean a thing. Really, really, baby. Just tear out your stitches. I didn't mean to break your heart.


-T H I S . I S . M E-
[my name is]: Krista, but friends call me Bunny. :3
[in the morning I am]: Always sleepy.
[all I need is]: A sketchbook and some cookies.
[love is]: Dangerous, hurtful, and fulfilling.
[I'm afraid of]: Spiders, tight spaces, and falling.
[I dream about]: My future.

-W H I C H . I S . B E T T E R-
[coke or pepsi]: Neither. :X I hate soda~~
[flowers or candy]: Flowers.
[tall or short]: In the middle, so you get the best of both worlds. :3

-W H O-
[makes you laugh the most?]: John.
[makes you smile]: My friends.
[gives you a funny feeling when you see them]: My parents; I never know how they're going to react.
[has a crush on you?]: Everybody. XD I am hawt!
[is the easiest to talk to]: John--I can tell him anything. ♥

-D O. Y O U .E V E R-
[sit on the internet all day waiting for someone special to I.M. you?]: Nah, I'm usually sitting next to him at home. XD
[save aol/aim conversations]: Not really anymore.
[wish you were a member of the opposite sex]: Nah, I like being a girl. xD
[lie?]: Rarely ever. It's easier to just be brutally honest about everything.

-W H O .W A S .T H E .L A S T. P E R S O N-
[you talked to on the phone]: John~~
[hugged]: John. :D
[you instant messaged]: Takumi
[you laughed with]: John, James, && Ed. :)

-D O .Y O U-
[color your hair]: Yes, every once in a while.
[ever get off the damn computer]: Often, yes. :P
[habla espanol]: Iie. ;~;

-D O .Y O U / / A R E .Y O U-
[smoke cigarettes]: No, never.
[obsessive]: Sometimes over certain things...
[could you live without the computer?]: Yes'm.
[how many peeps are on your buddylist?]: 48;;17 are mine, && 16 are John's though. XD
[what's your favorite food?]: Pasta! :D With chicken! And maybe cookies for a snack. :X
[whats your favorite fruit?]: Tomatoes? :X
[like watching sunrises or sunset]: Sunrises. It's much softer.
[what hurts the most? physical pain or emotional pain?]: Physical pain. I can take emotional;;it's easy to block the world out.
[trust others way too easily?]: Hell no. Complete opposite. I'm very untrusting until I get to know a person, due to a bunch of crappy past incidents.

-N U M B E R-
[of times I have had my heart broken? ]: Couldn't give you a number.
[of hearts I have broken?] : Only four I'm sure of. Lord knows how many others.
[of continents I have lived in?] : One~~
[of drugs taken illegally?] : Zero.
[of tight friends?] : Four or five.
[of cd's that i own?] : A lot. :X
[of scars on my body?] : Two on my right thigh, one on my right arm, one on my left pointer finger, and a small one under my left eye. A few on my knees, but it's hard to tell. I used to be very active as a kid haha. xD;
[of things in my past that i regret?] : Only one thing.

Labels: survey

{8:31 PM}
†らびつ ぷりんせす†

Today was pretty awesome. :3 John, James and I went out to have fun because James wont be able to stay late for my birthday~~and we were bored and all needed some fun adventures. XD

We went to the eye doctor first because I had an appointment that my Mom couldn't take me too. Turns out I got some weird reaction on my left eye and my doctor doesn't know if the reaction is from allergies, the solution I use for my contacts, or my eye drops. :X She gave me four days worth of dailies and told me to use my old drops for now--even if they were taken off the shelves in major stores (that's comforting).

So, I have to go back in a couple days for a recheckup and see how things are going. :\ I hope I'm okay before we have to go to NJ. >.<; Sighsigh. It'd even be nice to know if they're better by the anime-con but I know that's just a miracle and probably wont happen lol.

After all that I get charged $49 @__________@;; and we leave... I owe them the $9 cause Dad gave me $40 to pick him up some stuff...I know he'll be *thrilled* to know they actually charged me to poke at my eyes and whatnot... U___________U;;;

James tells me then that I get to pick the next awesome place we go and what we do. I choose for us to have a cinematic adventure~~because the movies are just fun! XD Nevermind that poor John is dying from lack of sleep in the last 24hours lol... :( So we go and we pick out a movie (We saw HARRY POTTER 5 xD) and while we wait for our movie to start we go to Ruby Tuesdays for a quick dinner-lunch-thing. x3

I got these mini burger things and french fries. The whole meal was pretty delish~~especially the chocolate milk I got with it, but I think I could have done without the mayo and pickles. :X Besides that, though~~wowz! John+James both love those strawberry lemonades I had them get last time and they got them this time too lol. XDDDDD; I seriously love those things. I wish I could slurp one down fast by myself, but being allergic to strawberries only allows small sips from other people's. ;~;

Afterwards, we saw the movie. OMG. Awesome. I was pleased. xD; We wound down following that, and then I got dropped off at home. Since I went to bed early last night I'm pretty tired. :\ So I'll probably go to sleep soon. No big deal, though. It's a nice schedule I'm on, like this. I'll be able to get up early for Phili-Trip no problem now. :3

Speaking of the anime-con~~ I'm confused as to what I want to wear. :X I know I want to do something to stand out, because it's a con, but I don't think I want to cosplay as anything. xDDDD; Besides, I only have like...Heero Yuy clothes. And nobody knows about GUNDAM WING anymore. TT____________TT sobsob...

But~~! I have cool shirts I can wear. :X Like.. SAILORMOON, DBZ, SORCERER HUNTERS, and EVANGELION.. and uhh.. NANA KITADE. xSSS And I really wish it wasn't going to be hot out! :( Then I could wear my HeeroxDuo pants that I made... TT_______TT Maybe I can wear those as caprise (capreeze? kaprise?) if I'm not dying. :X

Since its gonna be so hot out I might just bring a change of clothes with me and wear whatever. I really wish I had some DEATHNOTE merch to sport lol. XD Maybe when I'm there I can buy something and wear it around/carry it. :) That would be awesome.

Labels: anime, anime con, clothes, contacts, eyes, food, harry potter, james, john, movies, phili, ruby tuesdays

{8:49 PM}
†らびつ ぷりんせす†

I put up a new layout, because the last one had too much 「デスノート」. It was also cluttered, loud, && was making me sad (L+Misa=Tragic!Love). This one is happier. Robot!Girl = ♥Forever :3

I'm starving right now...I might make some noodle soup to calm my stomach down. Or maybe I'll heat up some leftover goulash from last night. :X Both sound really yummy.

Labels: hunger, layout, love

{12:25 PM}
†らびつ ぷりんせす†